


Immortal

by Bronzewitch30928



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Transcendence AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 07:40:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2460287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bronzewitch30928/pseuds/Bronzewitch30928
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of the Transcendence, the Bureau of Paranormal Investigations was brought out from its place in the shadows. Their job is to monitor,  track and, in some cases, destroy dangerous monsters and demons, stop cults that use human sacrifices, and prevent the trade and sale of dangerous spells and artifacts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Immortal

"Uuuuuugggghhhh…"  
It was a warm morning in Gravity Falls. There were birds chirping and leaves rustling in the wind. The splash of a water fountain drowned out the invisible moaning that was coming from Gravity Falls’ resident demon.  
Dipper was passed out by the water fountain in the mostly empty town square. Well he would have been passed out if he could be. Right now he was just really exhausted mentally. Partly because he dare not go back to his house- the house he shared with his sister, her husband, the triplets, and his Grunkle Stan- the Mystery Shack. Another part might have to do with the record thirteen summons he had gotten that night.  
It wasn’t enough that he had to put up with stupid extreme cultists. No he also had to deal with his sister who had decided about a month ago that her demon brother needed a girlfriend. Thus began her epic quest to find her brother romance. With several shots of Mabel juice*, the Internet, and an interesting profile of her brother, Mabel had found several girls she thought would be perfect for Dipper.  
It did not go well. The first girl was pretty, but ran screaming when she saw his eyes and ears, the teeth probably didn’t help. The second took one look at him and walked away. Three through Five went out on dates with him, but he got summoned and left in the middle of dinner. Number six was his choice and it went great. Until a monster had destroyed the restaurant. Naturally he went to fight it off but when he got back she was so scared she passed out. The seventh was… a mistake. Armed with the idea that maybe a demon needed another demon, Mabel had summoned several female demons in the hopes that one of them would go out with him. She found one. Scylla- a demon of water. The biggest mistake he had ever made. Partly because he wasn’t ever going to be demon enough to ever go out with Scylla ever again. Ever.  
Dipper groaned again. “Uuuuuuugh…”  
"Are you okay?"  
"Huh?!" Dipper sat up. Standing in front of him was a girl. She was looking at him with her lips pressed together, as though she was trying not to laugh.  
"I said," she said slowly," are you okay?"  
"Oh. Yeah I’m fine. Just," he paused.  
"Just what?" She asked.  
He sighed,” I’m not fine. Nothing’s fine. I just got off work, I have a sister who thinks it’s her earthly mission to find me a girlfriend, and I just had seven absolutely horrible dates in a row. And honestly, I’m not up to an eighth.”  
"W-o-w." she said slowly taking it in. Then she said quickly, "I need coffee. Do you need coffee? Yea you need coffee. Brb okay? Don’t move!" She held a finger up menacingly. "If you so much as think of moving I will personally take you in for loitering. Understand?"  
Dipper nodded weakly.  
"Good. Okay. Brb!" And with those words she ran off the coffee kiosk that was right around the corner.  
"Take me in?" He murmured to himself. Then it hit him. She was a cop.  
"Crap" The water in the fountain evaporated with his sudden nervousness. He had just talked to a cop.  
He went over his memory of her in his head. She certainly didn’t look old enough to be a cop. She was pretty, he thought. She had blonde hair that was, in a diagonal french braid, draped across one shoulder. She had caramel brown eyes, and what she was wearing was not cop material. A purple and white striped tunic with a pair of black leggings, knee high brown boots, a golden yellow cap with a black bow and whole lot of bronze bangles did not scream police. It screamed sixteen year old. But she had held herself like she was an adult, not a kid.  
He hadn’t actually seen a badge. But now it made sense. Why she talked to him, the threat… Wait.  
"How could she talk to me if I wasn’t tangible?" He said to himself.  
"Because I’m awesome and cool" she said, making him jump.  
"Aaaah!!" He yelped, falling in the now dry fountain.  
"Oh man you should see your face right now!" She laughed. She had reappeared with two steaming cups of coffee in her hands.  
Dipper grumbled something unintelligible under his breath.  
"Here" She held out the coffee. "take it or wear it"  
Dipper took the cup and sat.  
The girl sat down and sipped her coffee. “Ooh yeah” she moaned. “This is the best coffee in town. Each sip is like drinking heaven.”  
Dipper took a sip. “My god, where has this been all my life?”  
"Ha ha don’t say that!"  
"What?"  
"God."  
"Why?"  
"It sounds weird coming from a demon’s mouth"  
Dipper stared at her. “How did you know I was a demon?”  
She smirked. “How did you know I was a cop?”  
"Well you basically told me…"  
"Well duh. There’s your answer. I used my eyes and my head."  
"Mm" Dipper took another sip of his coffee. "So…. how did you know I wasn’t a hobo or something? And for that matter- how can you see me?"  
The girl laughed. “Because no hobo wears a tux Dum-dum!”  
He looked down. Ugh. She was right. It did look like a tux. Stupid date wear.  
"And as for your other question…." The girl thought carefully for a moment," I think I’ll keep that a secret for now."  
Dipper thought that was weird. “So can you see all of me?” He asked.  
Oh, it was just too easy, she thought. “No. If I did I’d have to take you in for indecent exposure”  
Dipper spat out his drink, blushing furiously. “N-n-not like that!!!” He spluttered as she roared with laughter.  
She jumped up suddenly, her face blank and eyes distant. A moment later she smiled, though it looked a little forced. “Whelp I gotta go. Things to do, people to see.” She threw her now empty cup at the trash can about ten feet away. She missed. “Can you get that for me?” she asked just a little to sweetly.  
Dipper stood up and walked to the trash can. He picked up her unmarked cup, ” Oh you mean this horrible attempt at a free throw?” She rolled her eyes. He turned and tossed both hers and his into the trash. When he turned around again, however, she was gone.  
In her place were two pieces of paper. Dipper read the top one.  
"Later Dum-dum! Sorry to dine and dash but I have important things to do."  
Dipper groaned again. Great. Another nickname. He read the bottom paper- which was actually a business card.  
"Elizabeth F. Madison  
Director of Field Operations  
Bureau of Paranormal Investigations”  
Dipper stared at the card for a moment then appeared in the house. Mabel jumped up while dropping the sweater she was working on.  
"Dip! Where have you been? I was so worried! How did your date go?"  
He said nothing, but handed her the card. She took one long look at it and yelled two words.  
"GRUNKLE STAN!!!"

**Author's Note:**

> Please go easy on me. This is both my first fan fiction and my first post on Ao3. I haven't worked out all the doohickeys and thingamajigs yet. Please only constructive criticism. 
> 
> *Mabel juice is Patent Pending.


End file.
